


One Shots from the Staggering Forward Universe

by CopyPastel



Series: Staggering Forward Series [3]
Category: Midnight Poppy Land (Webcomic)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Humor, Eventual Smut, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, I'm not sure this will probably go all over the place - It's just a bunch of one shots!, Romantic Fluff, Shameless Smut, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-13
Packaged: 2021-03-21 03:48:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30015678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CopyPastel/pseuds/CopyPastel
Summary: Staggering forward started as a bunch of little disjointed ideas that I started to piece together into a slightly larger story. As I wrote, it developed into something much larger and I ended up creating a universe, and some characters that I really love and want to continue with.Now that I'm done with Staggering Forward, and am moving on to work on the sequel, I'm left with a bunch of smaller stories that are part of my AU, but aren't really needed to move the plot forward in either large fic.I've got a long list of smaller stories I want to share, and will be posting them here as I complete them. They will fit into the universe I'm building, but won't really be critical to the plot in either of the larger fics. Some will be more significant, and some will just be for fun :)As with my longer fics, i'll be posting inspiration photos, artwork and music prompts for each of these chapters over on my Instagram @JustCopyPastel. Come say hi! It's weird!Hope you enjoy the weird dark corners of my brain! <3 <3 <3 Love CPPS: Beware of spoilers of you haven't read Staggering Forward
Relationships: Original Female Character/Original Female Character, Tora & Poppy Wilkes
Series: Staggering Forward Series [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2219466
Comments: 13
Kudos: 35





	One Shots from the Staggering Forward Universe

**Author's Note:**

> Starting off with a little D&D! <3

04/05/2011

Tora could hear the sound of thumping bass growing louder as he lay on the floor of his room. He groaned, and tried to roll over, gasping as his leg seared with pain. 

“Fffffffffffucking cunt ass god damn it.” He felt tears sting his eyes as he pushed up against the floor, turning his body and straightening the injured leg out in front of him as he sat up. He rubbed his shoulders, the muscles sore from being pressed into the hardwood next to his bed. The crutches the doctor had given him were leaning against the opposite wall and he reached out, his fingers clawing in the air until he managed to snag the edge of one crutch and pull it towards him, knocking the other to the floor with a loud clatter. 

Bracing the crutch against the floor he hauled up on it, getting his good leg under him and pushing to stand. He felt beads of sweat break out on his forehead and the room swam as he stood straight; he hadn’t stood up on his own since Vince had helped him stagger up to his room and dumped in his bed. He’d rolled onto the floor with his blanket and fallen into a deep feverish dream. 

_Fucking Goliath. Fucking Kōri! How long was I out?_

His idiotic little brother had wandered into the Balthuman centre at least a week ago, and stood in the middle of a group of fucking children showing off the Glock he’d gotten off some clan thug. The fucking kid was out of control since he’d moved to the centre. Goliath had lived with Tora at Vince’s house until the Centre had officially opened, and then he’d been moved to live in the dorms with the other kids. Tora had thought that he’d be moved too but Vince had said no. 

\---” _You’re too valuable son, I wouldn’t leave your training to just anyone. Martin will take care of your brother, and you can see him whenever you want. Don’t you worry.”_

Fucking Vince didn’t know fuck all; Goliath thought he was hot shit surrounded by all those little punks at the centre. He was the Tiger’s little Bro; Tora’s reputation was giving Goliath a fucked up god complex, but no matter how many times Tora beat his ass he couldn’t get through to him. 

As soon as his leg was healed enough he’d be taking his bat and tracking down the fuckwits that had given his brother the gun. Tora had had practice breaking legs, he knew how to do it without causing much permanent damage, but the assholes wouldn’t walk without pain for a long fucking time. 

The clan doctor had taken one look at Tora’s thigh, and Kōri’s amateur stitch job and grimaced at the angry red swelling, muttering about idiot kids playing doctor. Tora looked down at the bandage poking out from beneath his boxer briefs and made a similar expression now. The wound was still throbbing, but it didn’t feel hot under the bandages anymore so he supposed that meant it was healing. 

**

The bullet had taken him high in his left thigh and he’d collapsed to the ground in the middle of the fucking Centre gym. He’d come by the place after doing a pickup run, and had been supervising a small group of the littlest shits playing basketball when Goliath had arrived. The asshole had been waving the fucking thing around in the air and the kids had swarmed him like gulls in a fast food parking lot.

Tora had stomped over to his little brother and grabbed him by his shirt collar lifting him up and starting to drag him towards the door. “Jesus christ ya shithead! Where the eff did you get a Glock? Get the eff out of here. Are ya insane?”

A little blonde headed kid grabbed onto the back of his shirt as he dragged Goliath from the gym, “Big Bro Tora, it’s okay! Goliath was just showing us.” 

Tora paused and reached back with his free hand to roughly mess the kid’s hair and give him a gentle shove to get him to let go of his shirt. “Ya don’t need to be effing around with guns ya little shit, you’ll just end up blowing yer goddamn balls off.” 

The kid shrugged, “Ain't got balls. I’m a girl.” 

“Tora squinted down at her, and then shook his head. “Well ya still don’t need to be effing with guns kid.” He raised his voice, standing tall to look at the crowd of little pinched faces, “What are ya all standing around gawking for? Go play!” 

As the children scattered, he looked around and spotted a tall skinny kid he knew, “Oi Tommy, where the hell is Kōri, she was supposed to be here by two.”

Tommy shrugged, mimicking the girl’s gesture from earlier. “Saw her getting in Shannon’s car this morning, last time I saw her.”

_Does no one fucking know anything around here?_

Tora dragged his free hand down his face in exasperation and shook Goliath. “Let’s go!” he snapped, dragging his brother towards the door again.

“Get off ya big dumb fuck, ya don’t get to order me around! I’m not one of these fucking snotty kids.” Goliath shoved at him, and Tora grabbed him under the arm, lifting him slightly off his feet and leaning down to hiss in his ear.

“Can it ya little twat, unless ya want ya little fan club to see me play fucking _Tea Party_ with ya. _”_ Goliath immediately stopped struggling and went rigid, and Tora released his arm, giving him a shove forward. 

“What in the fuck is going on in here?” Kōri jogged through the doorway out of breath, tugging at the neck of her hoodie, and twisting her long hair up into a messy bun. 

“Where the hell have you been? Shithead here found a new toy.” Tora said, shoving Goliath towards Kōri. 

Goliath scowled and held the gun up for Kōri to see. “I know what I’m fucking doing Sis, look I can just take the fucking clip ou…”

Goliath fumbled with the Glock trying to dislodge the ammunition, and Tora felt himself go pale. “Whoa idiot, get ya finger off the…”

**_BANG!_**

**

Tora leaned heavily onto the crutch and took a cautious step towards the box on the floor. The thumping bass he could hear from outside had reached a peak and then ended suddenly, replaced by the sound of car doors slamming. 

Tora stooped, tugging a shirt out of the box and leaning the crutch against the wall so he could pull it over his head. He’d been moved for what seemed like the millionth time last week and hadn’t bothered to put his shit in any of the drawers of the room. He’d started checking out apartments around Narrin but no one would give him a lease without Vince signing some bullshit papers, and Vince wouldn’t let him off leash until he absolutely had to. 

_One more fucking year._

He could hear footsteps coming up the stairs and he hurried to grab a pair of jeans and start to pull them on. His leg seared again as he tried to lift his foot to step into the jeans and he groaned.

“How ya feeling Douchebag?”

Quincey stood in the doorway looking in at him with a concerned expression. Tora scowled at him, grabbing his crutches and giving up on the jeans for the moment. “When the fuck do ya ever call me _Douchebag_ , quit that shit when we’re home.” 

Quincey stepped into the room rubbing the back of his neck and went to sit on the bed, “Whatever, it’s just a habit sometimes.” 

“Ya well, ya sound like an asshole acting like a thug and making ya voice all deep, just fucking talk normal.”

“It’s self defense honey, you didn’t have your ass handed to you by Barbara Yuko last week.” 

Tora flopped down on the bed next to his brother, “Fuck her.”

“I DID! That’s part of the problem!” he moaned, collapsing onto his back and rubbing his hands over his eyes. 

“Ya well, ya did suck off Marcus behind the gym last week. I think her being pissed has less to do with your lifestyle, and more to do with the fact that you’re practicing that lifestyle with _her_ fucking boyfriend.”

Quincey sat up on his elbows and smirked at him. “Worth it.”

“Can I come in yet? Or is he fucking naked?” Kōri’s voice rang out from the hallways sounding distinctly irritated. 

Tora rolled his eyes, setting his crutches down next to him against the bed and flapping the jeans out, trying again to pull them on. “Jesus Kōri, get the fuck in here.”

Kōri’s face peeked around the door, her hand clamped over her eyes. “If I open my eyes and see your balls or tits I’m going to shoot you in the other leg, I saw enough last week.”

“No one fucking asked ya to look last week did they? Or fucking try and stitch it up. Doc said ya nearly fucking killed me!”

She peeked at him through her fingers and then finally pulled her hand down from her face, crossing her arms and glaring at him. “What was I supposed to do? Leave ya to bleed all over the floor?” 

“I could have lasted till the fucking doctor got there. It got all gross and infected as fuck. What did you do? Snap off one of those creepy ass nails you wear and use that to scrape the bullet out?”

She looked legitimately offended, “Fuck off Bro, maybe if ya weren’t such a dirty fucking skeeze it wouldn’t have gotten all nasty. Ya know, no girls gonna want to suck ya dick if you don’t wash your balls once in a while.”

Quincey sat back up and aimed a thumb at Tora, “Sis have you seen him? Pretty sure even with his stupid hair he could dip his cock in gasoline and girls would still ask to lick it clean.” 

Tora tried to hide a grin, as Kōri rolled her eyes, flapping her hands at Quincey. “Ya both are fucking disgusting boys. Quince will ya help the fucking cripple get dressed already? I said we’d be back in forty minutes.”

Tora frowned, “Where the hell do ya think you’re fucking dragging me?” 

“Centre”

He shook his head, tugging, ineffectually at his jeans again, “Nope.”

Kōri picked up his crutches and hopped up to balance awkwardly on them, swinging her legs back and forth, “Yep.”

“Fuck off! No.”

“Quince! Pants!” she ordered, gesturing at the jeans bunched awkwardly around Tora’s ankles.

“Quince you fucking touch me and I’ll make what Barbara did to ya seem like a fucking dream.”

Quincey ignored him and dropped to his knees, grabbing Tora’s foot, and guiding it through the leg hole of the jeans. Tora didn’t miss the smug smile on his stupid face. 

“Which part? The first thing she did? Or the second?”

**

“You gotta be effing kidding me.”

“It’ll be fun big Bro Tora, Sis and I stayed up late last night rolling up stats for everyone. I helped make yours for you.”

Tora hobbled into the cafeteria with Gyu unhelpfully clinging to his side trying to support him. The kid hadn’t managed to crack five feet yet and was built like a twig, so even with his fucked up leg, Tora was practically carrying the kid instead of the other way around. 

Gyu was only twelve but Tora liked him. He was smart, and even when he tried to act _badass_ he wasn’t bloodthirsty like some of the little shits that came through this place. Some people who had been victimized in their lives looked for any chance when they could be cruel to someone else; to be the one with the power for a bit, but Gyu wasn’t one of those people.

He collapsed on the bench where Kōri had laid out sheets of paper, pencils, canned drinks, bowls of chips and other snacks. There was a folded piece of cardboard at the head of the table where she took her seat and began pulling books out of her backpack. 

He glared over at her as he swiped a chip out of one of the bowls. “Ya know, no dude is going to want to clean the cobwebs out from between ya legs if ya keep on with this effing nerd shit.” 

“Oh, that hurts Puddy Tat,” she thumped her fist against her chest as if mortally wounded, “how will I ever go on knowing that I’ll never be able to attract a roided thug with dirty fingernails to paw at me until I fake an O just to get them off me. I do fine thanks.”

“Eff off, _ya do fine_. Who have you been fu… seeing? And it’s not roids!” He rubbed his biceps self consciously. 

“None of your fucking business Kitten” she reached over and swapped two sheets of paper, smacking the new one down in front of him, “that’s yours.” 

“My business if he’s an asshole, ya should let me check him out at least. Make sure he’s good enough for ya.”

She rolled her eyes at him and went back to sorting papers behind her cardboard fort. “Thanks Bro, but they’re fine. Ya don’t gotta worry.”

The two of them were rough with each other when they spoke, but Kōri knew he cared about her; respected the hell out of her, even when he talked shit. He’d made an awkward pass at her when they’d first met and struck out hard, but didn’t regret it; she was undoubtedly meant to be his sister. 

“Get reading that sheet and learn about ya character, that’s who you’re going to pretend to be. Ronzo here wrote the backstory for you.” She grinned at Gyu. 

“Who the fuck is _Ronzo?”_ he asked, raising an eyebrow at the kid. 

“Nickname,” he said, shrugging and taking the sheet from Tora’s hands, “I made ya a barbarian Big Bro. Ya name is Thokk the Victorious, and ya got a great ax and you can go into a rage to make yourself stronger.”

“So basically _me_. Great kid.” He took the paper and studied the details.

“This says I’m an effing Half-Orc but I’m only 5’4? What the hell? What tiny little prick boned an Orc and got her pregnant with my tiny ass?” He took a pencil and changed the height of his character to 6 foot 7. 

Kōri laughed, “Ya mom liked em’ pocket sized!” She clapped her hands together “alright I’m ready, I’ll explain the rules once Quincey gets back from the dorms with our other players.” 

“Who else is coming?” he winced as he readjusted his leg on the bench, looking over at the three empty seats across from him and Gyu. 

“Shan and Goliath.”

Tora grabbed his crutches and started to struggle to his feet, “Fu.. Hell no I’m not talking to that little shithead.” 

“We’re here!” Quincey’s voice rang out before him and Tora spun to look at the door jarring his leg. 

“FUCK!” he yelled, flopping back down on the bench. He apparently was going nowhere without help.

Goliath walked over, looking down at him guiltily. “Hurts?”

“Yes it effing hurts ya idiot. It hurts when people SHOOT YOU!” 

“Wouldn't have happened if ya hadn’t been freaking out about the gun.” 

“Wouldn’t have happened if ya weren’t such a goddamn fucking DUMBFUCK!”

Tora tried not to curse badly in front of the young kids like Gyu at the centre, but he was about two minutes away from folding his younger brother in half and making him swallow his own balls.

“You all sit ya asses down so we can play. I don’t know about the rest of ya but between training and jobs, I need a fucking break.” Kōri gestured to the chair next to her and Shannon moved to sit down at the table. 

Tora didn’t really know Shannon except that she was one of the few girls that lived in the dorms. Ninety percent of the centre was boys but the odd girl did come through from time to time. She seemed a bit younger than him and Kōri, maybe Quincey’s age, but already had ink; a large black and white moth in the middle of her chest.

“Is Mr. Balthuman giving you more work these days? Martin says I’m not ready yet.” Shannon frowned, apparently disappointed she hadn't been sent out yet. 

Kōri shrugged, rattling a handful of weird blue dice around in her palm, “Just small shit, but he wants me to start shadowing Big Bro once he’s back on his feet.” 

Tora moved his gaze from Shannon’s tattoos to his sister. “Eff that, ya not coming with me when I work.” 

She shrugged again, “Dunno why you think either of us has a choice about it.”

“I’ll talk to him.” Tora looked across the table at Quincey who seemed to be ignoring the entire conversation. 

_Useless fuck._

“Alright!” Kōri stood up behind her cardboard barrier and riffled through the pages of a hardcover book with a monster on the cover, “Let’s do this.”

**

As they began the game, Tora thought Kōri had maybe underestimated their groups ability to fuck up things that normal people wouldn’t have a problem with. She already looked frustrated and they had only just managed to introduce their characters to each other and learn the basic rules. 

“Your group pushes through the door of the tavern. It is crowded but the atmosphere is relaxed. A mysterious hooded figure with glowing red eyes sits alone at a table in the middle of the room poking at a plate of food. What do you guys want to do?”

Goliath smacked his hand on the table, looking way too fucking enthusiastic, “Attack the bartender and take all the money!”

“What the fuck Goliath?” Kōri frowned at him, spinning her pencil between her fingers. 

Shannon tossed a cheese ball at Goliath, hitting him in the chest, “Don’t just smash him, tell him ya gotta gun and threaten him first.” 

Kōri looked back and forth between the two of them. “No one has a gun! No one wants to talk to the guy in the middle of the room with the glowing eyes?”

Quincey leaned forward, scanning his paper. “Is there a stage? Maybe I can play my guitar as a distraction and you guys can steal the money. Do I have a guitar?” 

“Ya you do, but why are you guys robbing the fucking tavern?”

“I want to cast detect magic!” Gyu rocked forward on the bench, jarring Tora’s leg and making him wince. 

“Why Gyu?”

“The guy's eyes are glowing. I want to see if they’re magic.”

Kōri looked at him like he’d gone insane, “Why the fuck else would his eyes be glowing?”

Goliath stood up, grabbing a pencil and holding it above his head like a weapon. “I walk over to the bartender, pick up a stool and bring it down on his head, knocking him out.” He mimed thrashing the bartender, “he’s like, fucking bleeding everywhere and people are screaming, and then I hop over the bar and pull out the money box and it’s like…”

Kōri waved her arms in the air, cutting Goliath off, “NO! None of that happens. You can only say what you _want_ to do and then I tell you if you it fucking works or not.”

“Well why wouldn’t hitting him with a fucking stool in the head work?” Goliath asked, slumping back in his seat.

“Just… okay… uggh… alright fine hang on. So Bran Helder, strides towards the barman, and attempts to pick up a stool and bludgeon the _innocent_ barkeep to death. That’s an improvised weapon. What’s your strength mod?”

He scanned his sheet frowning, “Fucking negative one, what the fuck is that shit?”

Tora heard the dice clatter behind Kōri’s screen and she grinned, her eyes on Goliath. “4 - 1, so 3. Ya try and swing the stool up onto the bar but it’s one of those chairs that are nailed down to the ground like they have in fast food restaurants so you can’t fuck around with the seating and use it to murder the people working at the cash register. The bartender looks at you like you’re a fucking idiot and asks if you want anything.”

“Fuck that, ya didn’t say the stools were nailed down. I stab him with my dagger.”

“Not your turn anymore. Shan, what are you doing?”

“Who else is in the bar?”

Kōri checked her notes, “Umm, there’s the guy in the middle of the room with the glowing eyes, then there are just random people around sitting at different tables drinking. I dunno there's like a bunch of Dwarves in the corner, and a couple of Elf chicks sitting by the window.”

“I want to go talk to the Elf girls.” Shannon sat forward staring intently at Kōri. Tora saw Kōri raise an eyebrow, then sigh.

“Fine, you walk over to the table by the window where two elven women in long dark blue robes are sitting having a conversation. They look like they’d rather not be interrupted.”

“I take off my robe and sweep my hair out behind me. I pull a chair up to their table and sit on it backwards, straddling it, and I say “Hi I’m Biri, mind if I join you ladies?”

“You’re not wearing a robe, and you don’t have hair because you’re a Dragon Born. You’re like 6”6 and 235 lbs!”

Shannon looked annoyed, “Jesus Kōri ya made me a butch? Fuck.” 

“I made you a dragon!” Kōri retorted, throwing her hands up in the air.

Tora was feeling annoyed as well. 

_You can be a fucking dragon?_

“Effing hell, and ya guys made me a shitty little Half-Ork when you can be a damn dragon in this game? I want to be a dragon.” He grabbed a pencil and scratched out _Half-Orc_ on his sheet, writing in _Mother-fucking-dragon_ above it.

Kōri waved her hand at him, reaching over and snatching the pencil away. “You can’t just change your race mid game, we’d have to re-roll all your stats.” 

“When do I get to mock someone to death?” Quincey whined, slumping sideways on the bench to rest his head on Shannon’s shoulder. 

“It’s not your fucking TURN yet Quincey.” Kōri grabbed a handful of gummy worms from the middle of the table and stuffed them in her mouth, chewing angrily. “Okay assholes fucking hold on for a second. You there, Dragon slut, you shake your massive scaly breasts at two women who have no interest in talking to you, what’s your charisma modifier?”

“I have no idea what you are talking about.” Shannon said, flapping her paper at Kōri.

Kōri disappeared behind her cardboard and Tora heard her forehead thumping against the table. 

“There are six little boxes on the left of your paper, it’s the bottom one, the top number.”

Shannon frowned looking at the sheet, “Oh.. um, zero.”

“Okay, here we go,” the dice clattered and Kōri swore, “Oh for fuck sakes.”

She vanished behind the barrier again and then spoke, her voice muffled as she pressed her face against the table. “Nat 20. The Elven women are intrigued by the massive but apparently fucking stunning dragon lady straddling the chair at their table. They both lean in, each resting a hand attop your scaly clawed hands.” 

Shannon punched the air with a fist, “Yas! Elf Pussy! Now we’re talking.”

“Wait can you have sex in this game?” Quincey asked, suddenly looking interested. 

Tora was reaching the end of his patience as he stared back and forth between the different members of the group. “What the eff is happening?”

Kōri pinched the bridge of her nose, “You guys are fucking killing me. Okay Ronzo you’re next. What are you doing. Do not say detect magic, the dude’s magic okay lil’ Bro?”

Gyu nodded, “Okay, I sit at the table across from the hooded stranger and ask him what he’s doing there?”

“Thank fucking god,” Kōri sat up straight, smoothing the wisps of hair that had escaped her ponytail back behind her ears. “The stranger sweeps his hood back revealing a wizened face with red glowing eyes that slowly dim to reveal one black and one bright orange iris. He stares intently at Ronzo Liadon and then takes a coin purse out and thumps it on the table in front of him along with a long green feather quill.” She made her voice raspy as she continued. “ _I am seeking a group of adventurers brave enough to travel into the underdark, to the cave city of the Duregar where they will recover my_ …” 

Goliath cut her off, “I want to sneak attack this mother fucker and cut his glowing eyes out.”

“What in the fuck is wrong with you you murder hobo asshole? And it’s NOT your fucking TURN!” She turned back to Gyu, “Look the stranger wants you to go to see the fucking Duregar and get this amulet thing back okay? Do you want to go? Tell him if you want to go.”

Gyu looked back and forth at the people around the table. “Um, do we want to go?”

Quincey looked bored again as he sat hunched forward, his chin resting on the table, “Go where? Kōri can you say that all again I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Mother fucker. You’re going. You take his money and the quill thing and put them in your fucking bag, and then a fucking badass red cloud billows up around him and he vanishes. Okay next. Bro, Go!”

Tora had been listening but hadn’t realized it was going to be his turn so soon. “What?”

“What are you doing? Goliath is trying to pull a barstool out of the floor, Shannon is trying to fuck a couple of Elf bitches, Gyu is actually playing the fucking game, it’s your fucking turn now and then YES Quincey you can mock someone. Jesus Christ!” 

Quincey dropped his hand and closed his mouth, going back to looking bored. 

“Okay I’ve got this, I’m going to take out the bartender.”

“You’re supposed to be chaotic good Bro, what the fuck do you guys have against the fucking bartender?!”

“Dunno… probably owes the king of this effing town a bunch of money and now it’s time for him to pay up.”

Kōri looked like she wanted to fucking strangle him. “Can we leave work outside of the game? Fine. Describe what you’re doing.”

Tora glanced down at his sheet reading the details about his weapons. “Okay, I take my great ax and I walk around the bar, pinning him back against the counter so he can’t get away, and swing at him.”

Kōri shuffled her papers, mumbling under her breath. “Douchebag dice munchers... oooooookay fine,” the dice clattered and she laughed. “You deserve this you asshole, critical fail. You raise your ax above your head but it gets stuck in one of the ceiling beams, so when you try and swing it down it comes out of your hands and you stumble forward empty handed and accidentally caress the barman’s cheek. He likes it.”

Tora glared at her, “What the hell Kōr, how could that effing happen? What do you mean he likes it?”  
  


She shrugged, “Dude likes short Half-Orcs, ya remind him of his ex.” 

He crossed his arms, sulking, “Go to hell woman.”

“Okay Quince, lemme have it. What do you want to do?”

Quincey finally sat up looking energized, balling both his fists in front of him and thumping them on the table. “Vicious mockery! Vicious mockery!”

Kōri shook her head, her eyes rolling, “Sure why the fuck not, we’re still basically in the fucking lobby of this game but whatever, sure. Fucking sure. What’s your…? Oh just give me your fucking sheet.” She ripped the paper out of Quincey’s hands and scanned it quickly. “Plus five…” she rolled the dice, “...Damn 17, so 22. You unleash a string of insults at the Barman. Would you like to lay it on him?”  
  


Quincey puffed his chest out and raised his hands as if he were about to conduct a fucking orchestra, “Your shoes are tacky, and you’ve probably never brought anyone to orgasm in your life.”

Kōri lifted an eyebrow at him, “Brutal dude. You deal 4 damage and cause him to burst into uncontrollable tears. He clutches Tora... I mean Thokk, sobbing into the front of his tunic. _Sir why is your friend so cruel to me?_ He rests his head against Thokk’s chest and wraps his arms around him staring reproachfully at Quin... Hans Fiddler.”

Tora tossed his pencil in the middle of the table and crossed his arms, “I tell him to effing get off me, take my effing ax and walk out of this stupid bar.”

“Not your turn. Goliath?”

“Dagger. Fucking stab him.”

“Even though he’s cradled lovingly in Thokk’s strong arms?”

Tora tried to interrupt the insanity, “I’m not effing cra…”

“Ya, stab that shit. Let’s end this.” Goliath said, tearing a gummy worm in half as he spoke.

“OH yes, it’s been such an epic battle up to this point. Okay fine whatever.” She tossed her dice, glancing down at it and speaking in a flat bored voice. “Sure he’s toast, you stab him in the chest and he collapses, dragging Thokk down with him. He reaches up and gently strokes Thokk’s cheek, _I’ll wait for you on the other side my love_ , then he fucking dies. Go team. Next!” 

Goliath stood up, shaking half a gummy worm at Kōri, “Wait, hold on, I’m robbing him now!” 

“Oh for fuck sakes, Ronzo has a giant bulging coin purse that will finance your entire campaign!”

Gyu looked confused, “I do?”

“You… ya... just… from the red eyed stranger! He.. Oh for fuck sakes. Sure, he’s got 20 copper in his pocket and a spool of thread. Congrats on your earned riches.”

Goliath looked deflated, “That’s it? He runs the whole bar!”

“He’s a fucking NPC that you were supposed to leave alone. Okay moving on. Hydra hooker, you’re up let’s do this.” 

Shannon tented her fingers and rested her elbows on the table, “Do I have any money?”

Kōri eyed her suspiciously, “Yah you’re good. You wanna buy them drinks?”

“I want to rent a room upstairs.”  
  


“Jesus christ Shan, do we _really_ have to fuck the elves?”

“You guys there’s an effing kid here.” Tora grabbed Gyu’s head covering his ears, and laughed as Gyu swatted at him.

Shannon raised her eyebrows looking across the table at Gyu, “So? Let him learn something.”

Gyu turned towards Tora enthusiastically, “Yah Big Bro Tora let me learn something!”

Kōri gritted her teeth and groaned into her hands. She dropped the dice letting it clatter in front of her and stared down at the number. “God dammit you sick mother fucking noobs. Okay just recognize that you fucking asked for this.”

She got to her feet, leaning on her hands and staring around at the table. 

“Biri takes the hand of the Elf on the right, helping her to her feet. The other elf stands and clutches her elbow, and she leads them both through the door at the back of the tavern. As she steps into the dark stairwell, she presses the taller of the two women against the wall and kisses her passionately, sliding her claw down the bodice of her dress, severing the lacing there, and allowing her breasts to spring free. The second Elf is behind Biri, tugging her tunic from her pants and running her hands up over her abs as the three of them continue to awkwardly stumble up the stairs.”

Tora felt his cheeks flush, and covered his face with his hand. “Please effing stop.” 

Kōri continued, her voice getting louder and more sarcastic, “As they reach the room Biri presses the two women against the door side by side and begins to work her way down their bodies, alternating between the two of them. One of them grabs Biri’s weird dragon face tentacle things and presses her face to her Elf tits so she can suck at her nipples, while also trying not to cut them with her scary ass dragon teeth.”

He would gladly let Goliath shoot him again. “Kōr...”

“The three of them fall back through the doorway and collapse on the floor. One Elf pulls down Biri’s pants while the other fondles her weird dragon tits. Elf 2 positions herself between Biri’s legs preparing to eat her dragon pussy...”

Tora felt like his entire face was on fire, “Jesus Kōri enough!”

She smacked the table glaring around at them, “YOU ASKED FOR THIS!”

He stood up, feeling his leg throb, and gasped “Ahhh Fuuuuuck! I didn’t ask for ANY OF THIS! I didn’t want to fucking play! I wanted to stay home with my fucking shot up leg and sleep some more! You dragged me out here to listen to your weird fucking dragon smut!” 

Kōri pointed a finger at him "You need to do shit other than work! Your leg gave me a fucking chance to make you do something other than Vince's fucking errands, it's not my fault it turned into porn!"

Quincey stood up as well, scattering the bowl of cheese balls as he flapped his hands excitedly, “Brilliant Porn! Don’t stop now! Keep going, this is genius! What does she do with her tail?”  
  


Tora slumped back down at the table, burying his hands in his face and groaning, “Quince don’t be a fucking pervert!”

“Shut it honey I’m feeling inspired!”

Tora heard Kōri knock her folded cardboard to the ground and throw her dice at the wall. She collapsed back in the chair laughing resignedly. “I fucking hate all of you. Why do I even fucking bother?”

_Cause we're fucking family ya fucked up nerd._

“Hate you too Kōr.”

  
  


**

**Author's Note:**

> What? LOL


End file.
